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Blessings,

AMR

Living Under Grace

Simeon and Levi are bretheren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. Genesis 49:5


Living under grace is not a new testament concept. God has been forgiving his people/providing a means for forgiveness from the day he said "let us make man in our image" (Genesis 1:26). The same holds true here, as we look at the blessing Jacob pronounces over each of his sons prior to his death. They had all done wrong, such as when they worked in concert to get rid of their brother Joseph (Genesis 37). In spite of that, that is not their legacy. We don't remember Judah as a schemer, or Levi as a murderer. Instead, we learn that Jesus the Messiah descended from Judah (Matt 1, Luke 3), whose name means "praise" (Gen 29:35). Similarly, Moses and Aaron, the leaders of the Exodus came from the tribe of Levi, the same tribe that was charged with the priesthood and bearing the presence of God (the ark of the covenant).

Don't lose faith just because you've made a mistake. God can and will use you in spite of you. In fact, sometimes it takes being faced with your sin to push you to where you need to be in God. If Moses had not killed the Egyptian (Exodus 2), he would not have fled Egypt and would not have encountered God in the way that he did.


Don't be a slave to your sin. It does not define you. Allow God to help you through your struggles. HE IS YOUR KEEPER!


-AMR

Blessed and Highly Favored

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Psalm 23, kjv


I know I've been away for awhile, but in this season of remembrance of the birth of our savior, I just wanted to take a minute to share a reminder of just how good God is, and the true reason for the season.

Every winter I drive from NC to Boston to spend some time at home before Christmas. This time, due to the weather I stayed overnight in NJ to avoid the snow, and planned to leave this morning with enough time to get home before the road had time to freeze.

I had just gotten into CT and there was traffic, but it was moving pretty well when a car swerved from the middle lane into the left lane where I was driving. I beeped at it, and also swerved into the shoulder to avoid hitting it. The roads had been treated but apparently the shoulder, while plowed, had not, so it was icy slush. I lost control and did a 360 (or more accurately, a 180) across the 3 lanes of traffic, before I came to a stop in the shoulder on the right side of the road, facing the oncoming traffic (hitting the guard rail with my left bumper).

By the grace of God, no one hit me, nor did I hit anyone as I spun across those lanes of traffic. A kind woman (an angel!) who witnessed it stopped, called the police for me, and waited until they arrived, because as you might imagine, although physically unhurt, I was pretty shaken up. I was ok when I called my aunt to tell her what had happened, but fell apart when I was finally able to reach my mom on the phone, so it was truly a blessing not to have to wait alone, because due to the resulting traffic, it took ~20 min for a state trooper to arrive.

When the trooper arrived, he stopped the traffic so I could turn the car around. Other than damage to the bumper, the area above the bumper, and the tail light that hit the guardrail, the car is fine. It was mechanically sound, so after I received the police report I continued on my way, with 200 miles left to drive.

The rest of the trip was an adventure, because my nerves were on edge and couldn't help crying tears of joy periodically, thinking about what could have happened. It got worse when I got to northern CT/RI, where the road was so bad at some points that I could not even see the lanes. I also ran out of windshield wiper fluid somewhere in CT, and was scared to pull over/take an exit to try to clean the window for fear of getting stuck. I drove no faster than 40 mph the last 120 miles, and the last 20 miles of the trip were so bad all I could do was pray for God to get me home safely, and as you can see, he did. TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

Take some time out of the gift giving madness this holiday season to think about what God has done for you TODAY. Do not take the life he has given you for granted, because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Merry Christmas!

-AMR

Church Girl

God's Way is not a matter of mere talk; it's an empowered life. (1 Cor 4:20, msg)

Every "good" churchgoer knows (or at least knows of) the fruits of the spirit. These are things like love, kindness, gentleness, patience, etc, but when was the last time you took inventory of your fruits? It's great to go to church, fellowship with other believers, and to openly give God his due, but what about those other moments? What do you do when fellowshipping with nonbelievers? Do you feel like the only way to share your faith is by the physical act of telling someone? What about showing them. This is the root of the idea Jesus is talking about. Our actions are a reflection of our hearts, and while we may not always get it right, being circumcised of the heart means that we continue to be patient with our kids when they are getting on our last nerve. It means that when we do slip and flip someone off for cutting us off when we're already running late, that we repent the best way we know how (if not right away).

Running along with this idea is that words do have power. Be mindful of your words, especially in front of children, who may not have the ability to filter out the negative, and may actually tear someone down unknowingly, based on something they heard from us. The word says that false prophets are identified by their fruit. What kind of fruit are you bearing? Are you speaking life or death into those around you?

Are you a church girl (or guy) or a disciple of Christ?

-AMR

Perfection in Weakness

I've been singing with the worship team at my church for the last 6 months or so. Now, I can carry a tune, but under most circumstances I would never get myself into a situation that required the use of a microphone. The group is small (6 people), and typically the same 3 people sing the lead/do the exhortation. I am always happy to support anyone who wants to sing a lead (as long as it's not me) but after awhile I got picked to lead a song. Just so you know, I am not very comfortable with public speaking (let alone singing), so it was a big deal.

Fast forwarding to the present...we've sung the song a couple of times now, and each time I still freak about what to say/how to say it, but God has definitely been able to use me, in spite of me, to bless his people. I've still got a lot to learn, but I am thankful for the opportunity to serve and grow in this capacity.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 corinthians 12:9-10, although I suggest you start at v.1 for context)

So what's the point? Well, guess what...we're not perfect. We have weaknesses, we make mistakes, and sometimes we just don't feel like doing the right thing. Fortunately we serve a God that will use us in spite of us...that's the idea behind "perfection in weakness". God has a call for each of us, and when the time is right he will supply just what we need to witness for HIS glory. As it says in my email signature, "God doesn't choose those who are able, he enables those he chooses".

Are you allowing God to be made perfect in your weakness?

-AMR

Where Does Your Help Come From?

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. ( Psalm 121:1-2)

I drove to a little town out in the country tonight to hear my Pastor preach. I drove alone, but managed to get to the church without too much trouble. There were 2-3 other carloads of people travelling back to Durham that I saw at the church, but rather than follow one of them, I decided to find my own way back. I have a pretty good sense of direction, and a good visual memory, but for some reason I had a hard time reversing my steps, and I actually had to turn around and go back at least 4 times.

I was determined to do things my way, even though I was low on gas and was travelling alone in the dark in the middle of nowhere (yes, I know i'm a city girl but it sure looked like the middle of nowhere to me). Dumb, I know, but in spite of all my years of education, I still seem to prefer to exercise my right to do stupid things.

Looking back on the experience, I realize that I often treat God this way too. It's like I'd rather go it alone and try things my way before I'm ready to acknowledge that I might actually need some help. Even when the road is dark, and in the depths of my spirit I know that I'm not really sure of the way, my first instinct is nearly always to look to self before God. Where's the logic in that?

Fortunately for me, God is always looking out for me, and is able to keep me from falling, in spite of my best attempts to throw myself into a pit. And what about those times when I do seek God's guidance first, yet still find myself struggling through a jungle, you ask? Simple. I know that God will never leave me nor forsake me, so that even when I can't see or feel him, I know that he's there and that he will take me to a place of clarity at exactly the right time.

From whence does YOUR help come from?

-AMR

I'll Trust You Lord

Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
O LORD Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.
(Psalm 84:10-12, NIV)

What a beautiful passage. I know that some of you may even sing the song based on this passage on occasion. The question is, do you really believe that? Does your life reflect that? I know that for me personally, if we were to review my life for just the past week that there would be many things on the tape suggesting that I prefer to "dwell in the tents of the wicked." Clearly none of us has a "walk [that] is blameless," but that certainly doesn't mean that we won't receive "good thing[s]" from God. So what's the catch? We can't receive what God has for us if we are not willing to submit to him. In fact, sometimes submission requires that we give up the very things we hold dear, things that WE thought were what God wanted us to have. What does that mean? Well, sometimes God has to shake things up to get our attention.

Remember Abraham? God promised that he would make him the father of many nations, allowing his wife Sarah to give birth to a child long after she thought it was possible. Then, God did the unthinkable, asking Abraham to offer his long awaited son as a sacrifice. A pretty crazy request if you ask me. However, we don't have a God's eye view, and we never will, for his "thoughts are not our thoughts, and our ways are not his ways" (is 55:8). Abraham had to show God where his heart was, and God spared the life of Isaac, although he certainly didn't have to.

God may not be asking you to sacrifice your child, but maybe there are things in your life that it's time to stop trying to control.

What are you holding onto that is keeping God from blessing you? Just let go, and let God.

-AMR

This is the Day

faith will save you, faith will save you
faith will save you, stay safe
but the wind might change i will still remain
i will still be here
but the wind might change i will still remain
i will always be there for you
faith will save you, faith will save you
faith will save you, stay safe
- The Cranberries

Every time I hear this song, it reminds me of God, and the words he is constantly speaking to my heart. Okay, okay, to be honest, the song is really about people but in reality, God is the only one who can live up to these words. How many times have you promised a friend to "always be there," only to find that "circumstances" get in the way when the need finally arises.

It can be rough when your situation changes dramatically and you feel like you're all alone to face it. We come to depend on certain familiarities in life, whether it's a person, thing, or even just a routine. If you woke up tomorrow with nothing, could you still carry on? If you lost your entire family in a single accident, could you find the motivation to get out of bed each morning and continue to live your life?

We live in a world where very little is certain. Technology tries to tell us that we're invincible, but time and time again we're proven wrong as we get torn down, and must struggle to recover and rebuild.

Check yourself: what do you depend on?

Give Blood, Give Life

"If any Israelite or foreigner living among them eats blood, I will disown that person and cut him off from his people, for the life of an animal is in the blood. I have provided the blood for you to make atonement for your lives on the Altar; it is the blood, the life, that makes atonement. (Leviticus 17:10-11)

Ever since I came to Duke I've been a regular at the campus blood drives. Every two months, I make sure to eat well, and stay hydrated so that my blood is acceptable for use. Why bother? Because I know that there are plenty of people in need, and the 1-2 hour sacrifice is no big deal. When you go, the Red Cross always provides some sort of gift to donors, and this time it included one of those silicone wristbands everyone is crazy about. On first glance it was just a cool way to explain why I had gauze secured to my arm (a heck of a lot better than those "be nice to me, I gave blood" stickers). However, I was looking at it later on and just stopped:

Give blood. Give life.

Take a moment to think about that. As "valuable" as my O+ blood is, it can't really give life. In fact, there is only one person whose blood really can give life, and that is the blood of Jesus Christ. The songwriter says "there is power, power, wonder working power in the blood, of the lamb..." and how true that is. It is only by his stripes, his suffering, his death and resurrection that we are freed from the destructive bonds of sin.

Will the wristband fad fade? Of course. In fact, regardless of what everyone else does I'll probably get tired of wearing mine in the near future, but that's okay, as it's already served its purpose. This moment will come again when the time is right. I don't know about you but I'm thankful for the little reminders God places in my path about who he is and his love for me.

The blood of atonement has already been shed. Have you received the gift of life?

-AMR

Trust God

For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: (Luke 12:48 - excerpt)

Wow. God is so faithful. This past sunday was the big day. A day of firsts for me. The first time leading worship in a regular church service. The first time playing piano at my current church home. The first time leading a worship team at all, actually.

I was talking to a friend earlier on Saturday about some of my hang-ups..."what if I don't know what to say" ... "what if we can't make a connection with the congregation and people aren't able to worship with us" ... "they're not used to being flexible...what if we run out of songs"... but some point I decided I just had to stop thinking about the "what ifs" and just put it in God's hands. I went home around 2:30, and sometime around 5am, I got down on my knees to pray. Ultimately my prayer was for God to be glorified, and for hearts to be ministered to. I prayed that our hearts and minds would be clear and that we would be able just do our thing and let God be God.

...Be strong and of good courage, and do it: fear not, nor be dismayed: for the Lord God, even my God, will be with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, until thou has finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord. (1 Chronicles 28:20)

I didn't sleep that night, but the morning started out fine. We got to the church on time, but even after we had prayed and the testimony service was starting, I still wasn't sure how much of a leading role I was going to be able to take. I knew in my heart that it was important to "introduce" the songs, but I also knew that the words had not been there the day before during rehearsal. I had thought about a few relevant verses ahead of time to get me started, but it still was an exercise in faith to stand up to that microphone time and time again. [For the record, I hate microphones, and typically lose what little confidence I may have had initially when forced to use one]. Not that I should have expected any less, but God was right there through that whole experience, and I had no trouble finding the words or the confidence when the time was right. I managed to lose my singing voice about halfway through the set, but to me, that was just another reminder of how little I had to do with the "success" we were having.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
(2 Timothy 1:7)

In spite of everything, the biggest challenge was still having the courage to actually go up to the piano for the invitation/altar call. I was hoping that our musician would be there, but it turned out that he could not make it, leaving me with two options. Either I could have one of my friends play a random song softly on the guitar, or I could do something I hadn't done in like 7 years and play piano in church. I chose option two. Although I had practiced the hymns and could play them pretty well at home, in my 10 years of recitals and other piano performances I had NEVER previously been able to play piano in front of anyone without a paralyzing case of the nerves resulting in a lot of stupid mistakes. Pastor Cheryl preached a sermon on trust that seemed tailor-made to my situation, although it turns out it was a message I had already heard and received (and for once was actually walking in). I was obedient and just let it go, inching my way down to the piano. It took a last "nudge" from the Pastor to get me to actually start playing, but play I did. It was far from perfect (or at least as "good" as I knew I was capable of playing), but it didn't matter. This was not for or about me, and I was completely at peace, even as I floundered through my mistakes.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

After the service I couldn't help but feel such joy, as people told me how much they enjoyed the music, and the message in particular. I was told that they had seen the anointing on me, and I could certainly testify to that. It was definitely an answer to many prayers. God is so faithful.

I can't believe how much God's been stretching me these past few weeks. The word says that if we are faithful over the little things that he will continue to bless us (mt 25:14-30), and after this experience (and others) I can't disagree. What does it mean to step out on faith? It means that you truly turn everything over to him and just let God be God all by himself. He doesn't need our help. How do I know? Well, if the last 700 words haven't convinced you read on because I'm not done testifying.

Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust... (Psalm 40:4 - excerpt)

For those who don't know, my mom has been my advisor in pretty much every aspect of my life through every trial I've ever faced, praying for and with me, and basically encouraging me to trust God in spite of my fears. Other people have come and gone in my life to supplement this, but my mother has been the only constant. Except this time. Normally I talk to my mom on the phone every other day or so on weekdays, and daily on weekends, and more if I'm stressed or have other things to talk about. Why is it that I couldn't reach her on the phone at all this weekend? I tried 2-3 times a day, and couldn't manage to get in touch until it was all over. She, of course, already knew about the event and my fears, so I knew she was praying for me, but it's not the same as having the actual voice contact. Why do I mention this? Well, God says "trust me," not your mother, your boyfriend, your pastor, etc. When you look around and find that you are seeking help from, and depending on the people in your life more than God, then that's problematic. I thank God for reminding me that he is the one from whence cometh my help (ps 121). He is the source of my strength...I certainly can't ask for more than that!

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

-AMR